The Return of Tom Swifties, or How Can We Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

“Goodbye, cruel world,” Sue sighed.

“Bingo,” said Tom benignly.

“Hi, I’m Joseph Kingley,” he said jokingly.

“They are boring compared to rhinos,” he said hypocritically.

“2br, 1ba, LR, kit,” he said aptly.

“I shall run the CIA,” he said aspiringly.

“I believe your mink coat is inside out,” he inferred.

“What’s the capital of North Vietnam?” he asked annoyingly.

 “What’s the score in the Stevie Wonder-Ray Charles tennis game?” he asked lovingly.

“The Jello is 50% ready,” he affirmed.

“Is it a ‘Tom Swifty’ or a ‘Tom Swiftie’?” she asked, spellbound.

And then they get more difficult:

“I believe it is elephant pooh,” said Tom in Zulu.

“There is an insect in my cheese,” he said briefly.

“I vant to find za batroom,” said Hans peevishly.


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