My friend Mike Andrews, who lives in the south of England when he is not gallivanting around the world, can always be counted on for funny stuff in his emails. I met him in Olympos, Turkey a half-dozen years ago, where we had joined a gathering of eclipse aficionados to view what will likely be the definitive dousing of the sun in our lifetimes. We hit is off instantly and hung out together for a week or more until our paths diverged; we drank, laughed, and experienced a horrific motorcycle accident together (well, he experienced the accident, which I saw only in the rear view mirror of my bike, immediately after which I made a dicey U-turn and went back to render what assistance I could). Fortunately he walked away from the encounter, somewhat abraded and contused, but remarkably intact when you consider that he was hit by a large SUV and dragged several car lengths down the street before the driver could bring the vehicle to a stop. Nowadays we correspond fairly regularly via email, in which he often includes snippets of humor gathered from all around the internet. Mike must have a symbiotic relationship with the worldwide web, as he turns new stuff up with great regularity. To the best of my recollection, he has never sent anything that I had seen beforehand. So, with any luck, perhaps some of these will be new to you as well:
BOB & THE BLONDE
Bob, a handsome dude,
walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar
and stared up at the TV.
The 10 pm news was coming on.
The news crew was covering the story
of a man on the ledge of a large building
preparing to jump..
The blonde looked at Bob and said,
“Do you think he’ll jump?”
“You know, I bet he’ll jump.”
The blonde replied,
“Well, I bet he won’t.”
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said,
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
the guy on the ledge
did a swan dive off the building,
falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset,
but willingly handed her $20 to Bob.
“Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”
“I can’t take your money.
I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news,
and so I knew he would jump.”
The blonde replied,
“I did too,
but didn’t think he’d do it again.”
Bob took the money…
Or how about this gem:
Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does !!!
Position of total relaxation.
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.
Position stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column.
Excellent for back pain and insomnia.
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.
Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.
This position is great for massaging the hip area.
This position, for ankles and back muscles.
Life really boils down
1. Should I get a dog…..?
This next was of course photoshopped; but I thought it was hilarious nonetheless:
I’m thinking of you today.
No matter what situations life throws at you….
No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem..
Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.