Odds and Ends From Here and There

April 8, 2011

Every so often, my collection of random crapola reaches critical mass, and I find myself in the position of having to a) organize it, or b) simply do a blog post of random crapola. Since option “b” is far the easier of the two, I offer you my most recent compilation:

Yahoo! News has offered a couple of the best headlines I have seen in recent weeks; how about this gem?

Shark Bites Cancun Tourist in Surf Despite Warning

(“Time after time you warn those damn sharks, and still every now and then one doesn’t pay attention…”)

That headline can also be seen gracing the following website, from the NBC affiliate in Youngstown, Ohio:


Another choice example, one that requires no editorial commentary from me:

‘Gay Caveman’ Story Overblown, Archaeologists Say

Lest you question the veracity of my transcription, I offer you the original URL:


The previous two are much along the lines of a headline that appeared in the Fremont (Nebraska) Journal a couple of years back:

Red tape holds up new Platte River bridge


I suspect that the red tape held up the bridge so that it would not drop on the shark from a couple of headlines ago, but that is just a guess.

And then there were a couple of notable T-shirts, emblazoned with Words to Live By:

In case you can’t read this deep thought, it says “Live happily, time of today, the earth goes around for one self; we love honey.”

Here are a few products that likely would have gotten waylaid somewhere between the original concept and the store shelves, had they been proposed in the US:

Sweet Potato Ice Cream Oreos

Schweppes Air Soda

Don't miss the Chicken Gordon Blue

Let's hope it's very rare!

I'm told this company also makes underwear called Dr. Footy

Above, please note the latest in high-tech spy gear, the 35 mm camera disguised as a fruit juice box or a pack of cigarettes. The cigarette brand, incidentally, is Cheering Cigarettes; on the side of the package, the buyer is exhorted to “Just Relax! Let’s take a few minutes to relax and unwind. A person needs to relax and have a little fun!” Note also that the camera disguised as a box of “strawberry juice” is actually decorated with raspberries, a dead giveaway in the world of espionage (that is, if you hadn’t already noticed the “35mm camera” verbiage prominently posted on the camera body).