Where Green Camrys Go to Die

It pretty much goes without saying, but Cambodia plays host to some fantastic ruins. Many of the temples in the Angkor Wat complex date from the eleventh to the thirteenth centuries, making them upwards of one thousand years old. Incredibly, some of these temples were unearthed as recently as a hundred years ago, reclaimed from the jungle which had absorbed them in the intervening years. Fast forward another thousand years, to AD 3012, and let’s have a look at what archaeologists are turning up in the long-abandoned ruins of the Siem Reap megalopolis…

“It is really quite extraordinary,” comments Sir Nigel Cuthbert-Hsiang, of the joint Exxon Anglo-Sino cultural anthropology team. “We seem to have chanced upon the largest known cache of third-generation Toyota Camrys in existence. And by far, the preponderance of them are finished in a deep shade of green. I have never seen anything like it. As most historians well know, the third-generation of Camry debuted in 1991, and continued basically unchanged until 1996. They were reputed to be exceptionally reliable, and indeed, after more than a thousand years, we were able to change the oil and spark plugs on a pair of well-preserved ones, and they started right up. In fact, we are using them as primary transportation around the archaeological site as we speak…”

“Nobody seems to know why there are so many green examples,” Cuthbert-Hsiang continues. “Of course, we have found a handful of silver ones, and a couple of black ones, but the green ones handily outnumber all of the other hues put together, perhaps by as much as ten-to-one. Oddly, although there are a few later examples, fourth-generation and beyond, by far the most common vehicle is the green ‘third-gen’ iteration. There has been much speculation in the archaeological community as to just why this might be, but nothing thus far approaching a definitive answer: a) Cambodians of the era simply preferred green automobiles; b) Cambodians assumed that green cars were more eco-friendly, or ‘green’; c) these were all decommissioned police vehicles or fleet cars of some sort, ordered and delivered in just the one color; or, more likely, d) some factor we haven’t even begun to consider.”

Editor’s note: Some representative photographs from the digital era are attached below. Please excuse the poor quality of the images, as at the time, of course, Tierneyan Holography was still several hundred years in the future.

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One Response to Where Green Camrys Go to Die

  1. Michael says:

    I didn’t realise you were going to invent a form of holography. Is it similar to andrewsianoscopy?

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